FAQs

How to cope with grief and loss?

After losing my 12-year-old daughter Abi in a car accident, I had to put my 15+ years of resilience research to the ultimate test. What I discovered is that the most resilient people in the world share three key strategies - and these became the foundation of my Resilient Grieving™ framework:

1. They accept that suffering is part of life - Rather than asking "why me?", resilient people understand that tough times are universal. This isn't about being passive; it's about not wasting precious energy on questions that have no helpful answers.

2. They focus ruthlessly on what they can control - When everything feels chaotic, resilient people direct their attention and energy towards the things within their influence. They ask themselves: "Of all the things I'm worrying about, which ones can I actually do something about?"

3. They regularly ask themselves: "Is what I'm doing helping or harming me?" - This simple question became my lifeline. It helps you make better choices moment by moment, whether it's about what to watch on TV, who to spend time with, or how to spend your day.

My approach moves beyond the outdated "five stages of grief" model because grief isn't linear - it's messy, unpredictable, and deeply personal. Through my book "Resilient Grieving" and years of working with people worldwide, I've seen these tools help people find their own way through loss and reshape their lives after it.

What is resilience training for organisations?

Having worked with everyone from Fortune 500 companies to emergency response teams, I've learnt that organisational resilience isn't just about bouncing back - it's about growing stronger through challenges. My approach focuses on building collective resilience through what I call the four pillars:

Mental agility and psychological flexibility - I teach teams how to adapt their thinking when circumstances change. It's not about positive thinking; it's about flexible thinking.

Attention management - Rather than getting overwhelmed by everything that's uncertain, I help employees focus on what they can actually control and influence.

Post-traumatic growth strategies - Challenges can become catalysts for insight, strength, and renewed purpose. I show teams how to harness this potential.

Psychological safety - Creating environments where people feel safe to be vulnerable, ask for help, and support each other through unknown challenges.

What makes my training different is that it's workshop-based with immediately actionable tools. I don't just talk about resilience theory - I give people practical strategies they can use that afternoon. Whether I'm working with tech giants like Amazon and Canva, or government departments navigating change, I tailor everything to each organisation's specific context and culture.

The feedback I consistently receive is that teams don't just survive change - they grow stronger through it.

How to help teams through organisational change?

Having guided organisations through mergers, restructures, and cultural transformations, I've learnt that successful change management addresses both the practical and emotional aspects of transition. Here's my methodology:

For Leaders:

  • Embrace vulnerability as strength - When I work with leaders, I teach them that acknowledging challenges builds credibility rather than undermining it. People can handle the truth; they can't handle being kept in the dark.

  • Model resilient behaviour - I show leaders how to demonstrate the three secrets of resilient people in their decision-making and communication.

  • Create psychological safety - Establish environments where team members feel safe to express concerns and support each other.

Practical Implementation:

  • Honest communication - Be truthful about challenges whilst providing hope and clear direction forward.

  • Skill-building workshops - I teach teams attention management, mental agility, and stress regulation techniques they can use immediately.

  • Activate support systems - Help employees identify and utilise their existing support networks during transitions.

  • Meaning-making - Help teams understand not just what is changing, but why it matters.

The organisations I've worked with - from Amazon Web Services to Nestlé - report that their teams don't just survive change but actually grow stronger through it. The key is combining resilience science with practical leadership tools that people can implement straight away.

How to build resilience after trauma?

My research into post-traumatic growth - the positive psychological change that can emerge from struggling with highly challenging circumstances - has shown me that recovery isn't just about getting back to where you were. It's about the possibility of growing beyond it.

Key Strategies I Teach:

  • Develop a resilient mindset - This means reframing adversity as a potential source of strength rather than just something to endure. It's not about toxic positivity; it's about realistic optimism.

  • Practise attention regulation - I teach people how to direct their focus towards recovery and growth rather than getting stuck ruminating on trauma.

  • Build meaning from experience - Finding coherence, significance, and purpose in your journey through hardship is crucial for post-traumatic growth.

  • Cultivate self-compassion - Treat yourself with the same kindness you'd show a good friend going through a tough time.

Evidence-Based Tools I Use:

  • Cognitive flexibility exercises to help adapt thinking patterns

  • Meaning-making activities that help process traumatic experiences

  • Connection strategies to maintain relationships and seek support

  • Values-based decision making to guide recovery choices

My approach is now used by healthcare professionals, counsellors, and coaches worldwide because it extends beyond traditional trauma narratives to include the science of human recovery. I've tested this framework with emergency responders, disaster recovery teams, and individuals facing personal crises - and consistently see people not just recover, but discover strengths they didn't know they had.

Best grief counselling approaches?

After years of research and lived experience, I can tell you that the most effective grief counselling approaches move far beyond outdated models. My Resilient Grieving™ method represents what I believe is the gold standard in modern grief support:

Core Principles:

  • No "five stages" model - Grief isn't linear and doesn't follow prescribed stages. I've seen this model cause more harm than help because people think they're "doing grief wrong."

  • Individual pathways - There's no one-size-fits-all approach to coping with loss. What works for one person may not work for another.

  • Active coping strategies - I focus on what people can do rather than what they should feel.

  • Integration over "moving on" - I help people integrate loss into their lives rather than trying to "get over it" - because you don't get over the death of someone you love.

Effective Techniques I Use:

  • Attention training - Teaching people to focus on what helps rather than what harms

  • Meaning-making support - Helping people find purpose and significance in their experience

  • Practical tool implementation - Providing immediately usable strategies for daily challenges

  • Post-traumatic growth facilitation - Supporting the positive change that can emerge from loss

My "Modern Loss: Tools for a New Era of Care" framework is now used by healthcare professionals, palliative care teams, and mental health practitioners globally. It helps professionals feel more confident supporting people through all types of loss - not just death, but identity, relationships, roles, health, and certainty about the future.

What makes an effective keynote speaker on resilience?

Having delivered hundreds of presentations worldwide - including a TED talk with over 9 million views - I've learnt what truly makes a resilience speaker effective. It's not just about having credentials or a compelling story; it's about the combination of several key elements:

Essential Characteristics:

  • Research-backed expertise - My PhD in psychological flourishing and 15+ years studying resilience science provide the foundation, but credentials alone aren't enough.

  • Authentic lived experience - My personal journey through profound loss tested and refined my theoretical knowledge in ways no textbook could.

  • Practical application - I give audiences tools and strategies they can implement immediately, not just inspirational stories that fade by Tuesday.

  • Cultural adaptability - Every presentation I give is tailored to the specific audience, whether it's tech executives, healthcare workers, or emergency responders.

What I Focus On:

  • Evidence meets story - I seamlessly blend scientific research with personal narratives because both are essential for real impact.

  • Interactive engagement - I create space for honest conversation and Q&A, not just one-way communication.

  • Actionable takeaways - Every presentation includes specific tools participants can use in their lives and work that very day.

The feedback I consistently receive from organisations like Apple, Amazon, and Canva is that audiences appreciate both the scientific rigour and human authenticity of my approach. My sessions are often rated as the highest-value conference content because people leave with practical tools, not just inspiration.

What I'm most proud of is that my TED talk has been translated into 23 languages and is used to train corporate leaders, first responders, armed forces, and disaster recovery teams globally. That reach means these evidence-based resilience tools are helping people worldwide find their way through tough times towards better days ahead.