Do You Know Your Tūrangawaewae? Finding Your Place to Stand
Your tūranga-what?!
I love this Māori term which literally means your “place to stand” – the place that feels most like home, where you feel you belong, where you give your time, energy and other resources. The place where you feel most like yourself, where you feel complete. A place that nurtures you - and that you, in turn, nurture. It’s about relationship, not just what these places give us, but what we give in return.
Before you read on, a question to ponder:
Where’s your place to stand?
Why these places matter
I first came across the concept of tūrangawaewae several years ago while helping to run a city-wide wellbeing community of practice designed to build resilience in the aftermath of a natural disaster. Through that work, I spent time alongside Māori colleagues and students, and came to better understand just how important it was for young Māori to know, and to be able to reconnect with, their tūrangawaewae. Not as a metaphor, but as something lived and felt: a deep sense of belonging, identity and connection to people and place.
What struck me then, and has stayed with me since, is how relevant this idea is for all young people - and for all of us more broadly. While tūrangawaewae sits firmly within te ao Māori, the human need it speaks to is universal. We all need places that help us feel grounded, connected and secure.
This also aligns closely with what we know from attachment research. In a previous blog on secure attachment and ambiguous loss, I wrote about how secure attachment, once established, rests on two essential elements: caring and daring. We need places and relationships that make us feel seen, held, loved and understood. And from that secure base, we gain the confidence to step out, take risks, and engage with the wider world. Our tūrangawaewae can offer both: a place to return to, and a place that quietly strengthens us to venture out again.
Reconnecting with your tūrangawaewae – your place to stand
I was lucky enough to spend a morning on my own in mine recently, with enough silence to reflect and time to relish. It got me thinking about how important it is to be able to identify these places – and just as importantly, to make time for them, so that reconnection can happen.
So today, my question to you is:
Where’s your tūrangawaewae?
When did you last get there?
When will you return?
Can you make a plan to get there this year?
What difference would it make to you - your heart, head, soul, your sense of belonging and connection - if you stood there again, with your feet firmly planted on that land, knowing you were in the place you belonged?
What would need to happen to make that possible?
What prevents you from getting there?
What and who might help you get there?
And, if you were to take just one step towards making that reconnection happen, what might that be?
What could you do right now?
Close your eyes for a moment and picture it. What can you see, hear, feel, smell? Who’s there, how does it feel?
Go on… go and make that happen. Take that one step.
And, if you do, I’d love you to let me know how it feels – and the difference it makes – when you get there.
If you found this blog thought-provoking and helpful, please feel free to share it with someone you love. And you can sign up for my regular newsletter by clicking the link below. I try not to clutter your inbox, but send out one insight or thought on a Sunday night to help keep you focused on what matters as you approach another week.
Take care, Lucy
