Welcome to
The Fork in the Road
We all want to live well. But we all face forks in the road.
What matters is how we respond.
In my blogs you’ll find my responses to questions people ask me, real talk about life and loss, and reflections on navigating tough times with strength, honesty, and compassion. I cover both death losses and living losses too.
Not all posts are about grief. Many are about living well - my wider fascination has always been about how we can cobble together a good life, with meaning and purpose, fun and good times, hope and happiness, despite the inevitable tough stuff. My earliest blogs are raw, written years ago, in the aftermath of Abi’s death. Each blog has a theme label at the top and tags below to help you find more of what you’re looking for.
Over the years, I’ve learned that one person’s question is often shared by many - so if there’s something on your mind, please ask. I’m always open to exploring these topics from a different point of view, and truly believe the best learning flows two ways. You are the expert in your world and I’m here to learn from you.
I’m not into pretence or perfection. Just being human - like you - trying to piece together a life out of the cards we’re dealt. I’m proud to hear these blog conversations have helped many. I hope they help you too.
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Death is not a choice, but life is.
Four months after Abi died, the system, the media and the research all had their say about how long recovery would take. Surrounded by warnings and predictions, I wrote a single line at the bottom of the page. This post reflects on that moment.
Do You Know Your Tūrangawaewae? Finding Your Place to Stand
Tūrangawaewae is a Māori term meaning “a place to stand” – the place where you feel most yourself and where you belong. A short reflection on why reconnecting with meaningful places matters, especially in uncertain times.
Message in a Bottle: A research-informed classroom ritual to build hope
A research-informed classroom ritual designed to help young people imagine their best possible future. A simple, meaningful activity that supports hope, reflection, and identity during times of change.
Why January Is Hard (and Why You Shouldn’t Take It Personally)
January can be surprisingly hard for many people — not because they’re failing, but because the context is demanding. This piece explores why January bites, and how to approach the year ahead more gently.