Welcome to
The Crossroads Blog
We all want to live well. But we all face crossroads.
What matters is how we respond.
In my blogs you’ll find my responses to questions people ask me, real talk about life and loss, and reflections on navigating tough times with strength, honesty, and compassion. I cover both death losses and living losses too.
Not all posts are about grief. Many are about living well - my wider fascination has always been about how we can cobble together a good life, with meaning and purpose, fun and good times, hope and happiness, despite the inevitable tough stuff. My earliest blogs are raw, written years ago, in the aftermath of Abi’s death. Each blog has a theme label at the top and tags below to help you find more of what you’re looking for.
Over the years, I’ve learned that one person’s question is often shared by many - so if there’s something on your mind, please ask. I’m always open to exploring these topics from a different point of view, and truly believe the best learning flows two ways. You are the expert in your world and I’m here to learn from you.
I’m not into pretence or perfection. Just being human - like you - trying to piece together a life out of the cards we’re dealt. I’m proud to hear these blog conversations have helped many. I hope they help you too.
Ask Me A Question.
Abi’s Dots: How Colour, Memory and Community Helped Us Grieve
In the days after losing Abi, we asked her godmother Lexi to “do something beautiful” with her coffin. What followed was an explosion of colour that has travelled the world. This is the story of how Abi’s Dots began — and how they’re helping me heal.
Why Old Friends Matter Most
Friendship isn’t a luxury. It’s one of the few things that holds when the ground gives way. So thank you to my oldest mates - for every effort, shared silence, and reminder that we’re not meant to do life alone.
Hooray for Sister Day!
Today is Sister Day – the name my dear sister, Esther, coined for the intermittent days we get to see each other.
Severed from the Sisterhood.
I didn’t just lose Abi, I lost my daughter, and with her my connection to the female world, and a female future.
Is This Helping or Harming?
Is This Helping or Harming? A Simple Tool for Everyday Resilience
The Relics of a Life
I find you everywhere. So many signs of your presence. Yet you have gone.
A Lot of Love and Affection
A reflection on parenting, protection, and the privilege of being a mum—through the lens of music, memory and the people we miss. Inspired by one cheesy pop lyric that still says it all: love and affection, whether we’re right or wrong.
Four Weeks Since We Lost Abi: Living with the Unthinkable
Four weeks ago, we lost Abi. She was twelve. Her friend Ella and Ella’s mum, Sally—my dear friend—died too. This is the first post I wrote. A way to say the unsayable, to begin writing my way through the wreckage, to sort my thoughts.