Why does it hurt so much when our children leave home?

Many parents write to me saying they feel lost, empty, even ridiculous for grieving when their children leave home. The truth is, it’s not ridiculous at all - it’s grief. This piece explores empty nest grief, why it hurts, and why their leaving is also proof of the secure attachment you’ve built.

Just because it’s called a holiday doesn’t mean it delivers rest. Some leave you more wrung out than when you left. But a recent cycling trip through Sri Lanka reset me in ways I hadn’t expected – and reminded me what kind of break truly restores a burned-out mind.

We don’t talk enough about crying in public, yet tears are as human as laughter. On a recent morning in an airport lounge, I found myself overwhelmed by the steady work of holding exhaustion, overwhelm, grief and everyday life together. In this piece, I explore why we feel awkward about tears, what our emotions are trying to tell us, and how small rituals like music or movement can help us cope with moments of overwhelm.

Had your world turned upside down by grief? Feeling lost, unsure what to do, or how to get through the next hour? Here are five practical tips I often share with people in your shoes—real things you can try right now to ease the chaos and take back a little control.

You can never truly learn a braided river - it shifts day by day. Life’s like that too. In this piece, I reflect on how kayaking New Zealand’s unpredictable rivers helped me let go of control, trust myself to make good-enough decisions, and keep going when the current gets rough.

All week, people have been messaging/emailing me about how hard the build up to Mother’s Day is - all the promo emails advertising ‘gifts for mum’, and the endless radio ads designed for a life we either no longer live or never got in the first place. As Sarah from Sydney wrote in an email to me, “why do we need a day that makes not being a mum even harder?” If this day is hard for you too, I wrote this for you.

This is one of the questions I get asked most. Supporting someone who’s grieving can feel impossibly hard - like anything you say might make it worse. This post offers real-life tips and research-informed advice, from grievers, to help you show up with compassion (and less likely to get it wrong).

‘We’ve just lost our precious daughter. My world has collapsed. What helped you get through this and keep living? I can’t imagine going on. I just don’t know what to do.’ My heartfelt advice to Greta from Brighton (UK).

Community isn't built when crisis strikes. It's built beforehand, through the everyday places where we gather, connect and belong. Why our "bumping spaces" matter more than ever in an increasingly lonely world.

Feeling lost after graduation, career change or personal loss? Discover why trusting the process—as Steve Jobs once did—can guide you through uncertainty. With real stories, reflections on resilience, and a reminder that plans change, this is a guide for finding clarity when the future’s unclear.

“What am I doing, lying here under this blanket, sleeping the afternoon away, missing life?” Just one of the many questions circling in my head as I try to grasp the permanence of Abi’s absence. A reflection from the early days of loss—waiting, watching, trying to understand.

A bittersweet reflection on the final season of family life as it once was. On school shirts drying in the sun, toast at the kitchen bench, and how parenting is really just a long, slow letting go. A piece about memory, love, and the quiet ache of change.

We’re in beautiful Byron Bay. We were here the same time last year: same place, same scene, same glorious weather and long white beaches, only this year everything is tinged with the sadness of Abi’s absence.

Music has the power to shift our darkest mood, to bring back memories, to create and solidify new ones, and the capacity to heal. Four days in my life without it was enough for me.

In the days after losing Abi, we asked her godmother Lexi to “do something beautiful” with her coffin. What followed was an explosion of colour that has travelled the world. This is the story of how Abi’s Dots began — and how they’re helping me heal.

How the fuck could this have happened? What the fuck?

Really, how can my daughter be dead? It doesn’t make any sense. It cannot be.

Friendship isn’t a luxury. It’s one of the few things that holds when the ground gives way. So thank you to my oldest mates - for every effort, shared silence, and reminder that we’re not meant to do life alone.

Today is Sister Day – the name my dear sister, Esther, coined for the intermittent days we get to see each other.

I didn’t just lose Abi, I lost my daughter, and with her my connection to the female world, and a female future.

Is This Helping or Harming? A Simple Tool for Everyday Resilience