Finding Your Way
Welcome to My Blog
We all want to live well. But we all face forks in the road.
What matters is how we respond. My blogs will help you find your way.
In the blogs below you’ll find questions people ask me, real talk about life and loss, and reflections on navigating tough times with strength, honesty, and compassion. I cover both death losses and living losses too.
Not all posts are about grief though. Many are about living well - my wider fascination has always been about how we can cobble together a good life, with meaning and purpose, fun and good times, hope and happiness, despite the inevitable tough stuff. My earliest blogs are raw, written years ago, in the aftermath of Abi’s death. Each blog has a theme label at the top and tags below to help you find more of what you’re looking for.
Over the years, I’ve learned that one person’s question is often shared by many - so if there’s something on your mind, please ask. I’m always open to exploring these topics from a different point of view, and truly believe the best learning flows two ways. You are the expert in your world and I’m here to learn from you.
I’m not into pretence or perfection. Just being human - like you - trying to piece together a life out of the cards we’re dealt. I’m proud to hear these blog conversations have helped many. I hope they help you too.
You may have strengths you haven’t needed yet
Do our character strengths change over time? A reader recently asked me this question after completing a strengths assessment years ago. The answer reveals something psychologists call the Truman Effect.
Fifteen Years On: What Years of Earthquakes Taught Me
On the 15th anniversary of the Christchurch earthquake, I reflect on three lessons about navigating uncertainty and building presilience before crisis hits.
Control > Option > Command: A New Mental Shortcut for Overthinking.
Overthinking can keep us trapped in destructive loops of anxiety and self-blame. In this short reflection, Dr Lucy Hone introduces her new simple mental shortcut - Control > Option > Command - to help you focus on what you can control, explore your options, and take meaningful action instead of ruminating.
Empty Nest Grief: Living With the Invisible Loss
Why does it hurt so much when our children leave home?
Many parents write to me saying they feel lost, empty, even ridiculous for grieving when their children leave home. The truth is, it’s not ridiculous at all - it’s grief. This piece explores empty nest grief, why it hurts, and why their leaving is also proof of the secure attachment you’ve built.
Hooray for Sister Day!
Today is Sister Day – the name my dear sister, Esther, coined for the intermittent days we get to see each other.
Is This Helping or Harming?
Is This Helping or Harming? A Simple Tool for Everyday Resilience